好，坏？

那晚，突如其来的一封信息扰乱了思绪。

“我可能会回到吉隆坡工作。”


他说不舍得。并不是因为这个地方，而是因为这里的人。况且，感情还没稳定。那几晚，他所说的一切，让我觉得他好像开始了解了。不对，比我还要了解我自己。

“因为她对自己没信心。因为她害怕跌倒，害怕受伤。所以不敢轻易接受别人。”

听了这句话，手上的笔马上停了下来。虽然认识的时间不算长，但是他却能够那么自然的说出我心里的话。

“你就是这样，没事爱胡思乱想。” 这是他说了又说的一句话。对，金牛座的女生最喜欢胡思乱想。

牛牛：特闷骚，特害羞，特胆小
没有安全感，占有欲强，控制欲强
容易胡思乱想，多疑，极敏感
嫉妒心强，容易吃醋
忽冷忽热，忽远忽近
爱顾影自怜，双重性格
严重精神分裂，特大号神经病


其他的不说，这三种就真的很准。


这几天，听着他说准备要过去的事情，心里竟然有种说不出的难过。我说过，承诺对我来说只是为了敷衍别人，只是无心许下的。曾经，只要的承诺，就会愚昧的点头相信。结果受伤的却是自己。但是他一再的承诺，让我好想试着相信。

“如果，那段时间里，你找到一个可以陪在你身边，一个爱你的，一个能让你找到自信的人。那时候，一定要告诉我，我会让你走。” 那晚，他又哽咽的说。不知道怎么回应，只是静静的听他把话说完。那一刻，我问自己，为什么对我那么好？我不值得。

那天，你认真的回答那个问题。我知道，你没有撒谎。你所说的，让我觉得原来你并不是其他人想像的那样。原来你也有苦衷。瞬间，好想多了解这个人。

不知道，这件事情，对你对我，是好是坏？你说，这是给我们的考验。

你不用害怕跌倒

因为我会扶着你

 

Birthday and Result

8th March. It's someone's birthday. People say 8th of March is  三八妇女节 (International Women's Day). Haha. Yeah this is so right. He somehow is a lady, sometimes always .

Oh well, headed to Tarot right after class. Saw the black figure sitting alone when I reached. It's been such a long time since we last met. He kept on complaining that I never contact him. So did him?

Had a long chat with him. From studies to relationships, and lots of craps. Yeah, typical us. We never talk nicely to each other. That's the way we communicate since primary 6.


Food food foooooooooooooooood!!

After chatting for 1 hour or so, we said our goodbyes. Why? Because I had to go back to campus. Why? Because our results were released at 2.30pm.

Gosh. Results were supposed to be released tomorrow. But then, our lecturer reminded us to check the notice board from time to time, just in case. We did, and yeah it released today.

Shawnne and I reached at the same time. Parked behind her and we ran to library. By the time we got up there, most of them got their result already. I signed and got the slip from Miss Kho. She gave me the sweetest smile but it was kinda creepy. *shudders*

I almost fainted when I saw my result. Well, just being happy and disappointed at the same time. I didn't expect that for my Chemistry. And the most important thing is that, what the hell happened to my Biology 2?! I swear I didn't expect that. *shakes head*

Considering whether to re-sit this semester, since this is an extremely short semester. And trial is in 1 month time. GAHHH!

Hey

Cheer up!

Work harder next time :)

wrong thing

It was only a joke. 

I care. I really do.

But I didn't want to admit.

I thought you would understand. 

I'm sorry.

Angela and Fish birthday

3rd March. Angela and Fish's birthday. Both of them were born on the same day. So we planned to do something. 

I don't remember when did we start planning for this. Twin, Shawnne and I bought present for Angela on Tuesday. It was kinda funny. Twin said she wanted to find a 'black' thing that Angela said she wanted some time ago. But she couldn't remember what it was. -..- So we ended on buying a cup, and 3 soft toys. 

We actually planned to celebrate on Saturday but it was cancelled. And then another plan was to surprise her at her house. In the end, we decided to celebrate with them on Friday. 

HOWEVER, our plan nearly failed. But then still, mission accomplished. :D

As usual, she asked if we wanted to have lunch together, we said we were going home. We went there right after class. We took the cake and went to Hong Kong Causeway Bay. Get ready. 

She was surprised. And when we brought out the cake, we was really touched. :') 

Left hand side for Fish, and the other one for Angela.

The birthday girls.

The ice cream cake from Lof.

幸福

其实，幸福可以很简单。只是一直不敢承认，现在的自己的确很幸福。每当感觉幸福得藏不住笑容时，就会马上提醒自己：不可以笑得那么开心！

为什么？因为害怕。害怕一旦习惯了这幸福，就会开始依赖。过去，只要开始觉得幸福时，老天就会把它夺走，什么都不剩。害怕有一天，他也像其他人一样离开了，幸福也跟着消失了。

对我来说，承诺只是是个词。太多太多人都不守承诺。对他们来说，承诺只是当时许下的，过后要不要守住再打算。所以，我也学会了不再相信承诺。

很好奇，是不是那个人，让我的自我保护意识变强。不敢太靠近别人，不然太相信别人。更不敢豁出去的爱上一个人。就算已经过了8个月，但是只要观察到小小的东西，心还是会感到微微的疼痛，鼻头酸酸的。

那些哭累了睡着的夜，那些被梦惊醒的夜，我不想再经历。

Ear piercing

Went to my cousin's place for dinner last Saturday. And the ear piercing topic came up. She We wanted to pierce our ears since I-don't-know-when. Surprisingly, her mom agreed that night. So she said we'd better go pierce before she change her mind. Again. 

So yeah, we went the next day. 

2 pierces each side. Thanks to my mom. :) She asked me to pierce 2. While having our breakfast that morning, she saw a lady with 2 pierces on each ear. Guess what she said. 'That seemed more fashion.' 

Oh well. My cousin was brave enough to do it first. My palms were sweating when I watched her pierce. But then when it was my turn, I was so calm. So she applied some cream and sprayed something on my ears. And then the exciting moment. 

'TUB'.

OUCH! That hurts. I shouted. Yes! On the spot. And fyi, left ear hurt more. My cousin had 2 and she was like screaming when we left the shop. Me? Double the pain. T^T

That night

he cried and said

I'm sorry.

Forever alone day

Yeah 14 February was Forever Alone day for me. :D Haha. Wanted to join the so called "campaign" suggested by Maxdy but was too busy at campus so.. 

Oh well, someone ruined my mood that day. I had been living so well recently, but then he suddenly appeared again. I was so angry when I saw what he wrote. And I don't know why. Fine. 

Late that night, I received this. :) So cute!

A Valentine gift from my dad. Say hi to Shelly. (Sounds like my name, I know.)

The feeling

it's still there.