happy birthday

Today is someone's birthday. I never forget. He told me once and i remembered the date. Weird thing.

Early in the morning i text him. He replied, i replied. And the process goes on and on. But something's different. The feeling is not the same. Although my heart beat faster when i was replying him, but there wasn't any looking forward for anything. None. Does this mean that i have totally given up? Have i walked out of the pain?

All i wanna tell you is that, thanks for loving me once. I chose to believe that you really did. Thanks for letting me know what exactly is love. Thanks for letting my parents know that their girl has become a big girl. Thanks for the pain you've given me. After all these, i've grown up. I learnt to face the truth. I'm braver. I admit that you still occupy a little part of my heart. I don know why. But, your role is no longer that important no more.

I hope you see this and you know who you are. Take care. And work hard in everything yea?

I no longer know what is love.

After School. =)

Sometimes, when you're with your friends, you can laugh at anything they said. And sometimes, you will have this feeling of wanting to smack someone for saying something really stupid.

So, we stayed back at school for chemistry and physics group study laughing. Okay, i did learnt some chemistry today. But after 2.30pm was really kinda wasting time. hmm. Why?

We were talking craps and sort of sharing secrets? Was that sharing or... something else? I don know. LOL. We discovered the most shocking fact. J***e had a crush on someone before!! omfg. This world is full of secrets. Who knows? Maybe HE is from our class?

Childhood. scary man... Luckily my brother is normal comparing to the others. tee-hees. My bro has started to nag me since i don know when. He started to replace my mum and dad. Haha. anyway, I know he loves me. Just that we never show it.

I used to think that, boys know about girls. Comparing to girls know about boys. I was proved wrong after today. And boys have this funny idea of girls. I laughed my head off when one of my boy-friend asked about the sanitary pad thingy. U can't even imagine. Lol.

Secrets are meant not to be known.

Doom

Today shall be the most terrible day of my entire life? I bet it is. I had my ABRSM piano exam today. Unusually, i still went to school just for that freaking bored English 1119 Seminar. I was regret for going to school just for that. Boringggg...

So, the story starts from, I reached Hilton. I asked my teacher which room should i go. She taught me to hug my exam pieces with the cover facing in front of me, and someone will tell u where u should go. LOL. That was so true. A man came and told us to go to level 6. 601 was the examination room. 602 is the waiting room. Elisa, the cute the girl in white dress, and another Grade 5 girl. They weren't nervous. They were so calm. I admire Elisa especially. She was soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo cute and smiling all the time.

Elisa is always good. That's why my teacher loves her a lot. So do i. =) I was after Elisa. So, i started to be nervous when Elisa was in the room. The air con there was freaking cold. The steward brought me to room 601. The door opened, stood an english man. He seems friendly. But that didn't help. He brought me in and said, ' take a sit and feel comfortable.' Okay, i was too nervous to think this morning. But thinking of it now, how on earth can i relax when u are in there?

Before i realize, he asked me to start. O.o The scales and pieces were still ok. Here comes the freak me off part. Sight reading and Aural test. WTF. Sight reading.. gosh. I'm so dead in that one. And there was this very moment that i feel like throwing myself into the river at the opposite of Hilton Hotel. Not gonna mention it anymore.

So, this is my 28/7. I'm NOT gonna forget today. God, bless me please. I just wanna pass.

We couldn't change the past,

But we can create future.

single vs unavailable?

Thanks to someone, i got the wanting-NOT-to-be-single virus. People close to be, er not necessarily to be THAT close enough, knows that i used to go crazy when someone mention JL. haha. i ever craved his name somewhere on my desk. *wink*

After the Feb incident, i've been emo for like weeks, i guess? And things weren't easy for me. I tried my best not to think, not to miss, not to cry. Months passed. I made it and i'm so proud of myself. During that few months, I told myself, i have to enjoy the freedom of being single for few more years. I HAVE TO. I have to concentrate on studies as this is my big year, SPM year. But then, things change.

I see friends facing relationship problems, which reminds me of the pain i once had. I pity them, and wanted to help. And I hope i did. So, i'm happy for being single now.

However, I do need someone to be there for me when i'm sad.

It really feels good when u know there's someone supporting u.

U know there's someone who is willing to hold ur hand when u need him.

U know there's someone who listen to ur problem anytime, anywhere.

So, i dono what got into me, i changed. I even have this feeling when i saw him. I dono if this is the same as the JL feel i used to have had. I hope this wont last long. And seriously, i DON WAN it to last long. =(

haha, i did an analysis on guys. My ideal type. =)

1. Taller than me. I'm quite short, so it shall be easy.
2. Loving of cos.
3. Shuai =)
4. Older than me
5. KOREAN!!! =3

What to do?

When u're a teenage.

The fuuuuriiiizuuu..

lol. the whole idea started early in the morning when Charles came to us and told us the plan. We discussed how shall it go and this and that. Then we were like so excited. And can't wait till recess.

The bell rung, Ewen kinda 'brief ' us and almost the whole 5sc1, i repeat, ALMOST THE WHOLE 5SC1, went to the canteen in a group. Imagine how much attention we got already on the way. Siaw Ling and i planned to use the hippo and tiger patung to do our pose. But then Sze jumped out from nowhere holding a half-bite biscuit. So we planned the other pose instead. The hippo and tiger staring at sze's biscuit pose.

Reached canteen, everybody 'settled-down'... Different poses. LOL. I tell u. It is very very sia soi. Seriously. And the effect of a group is a lot better than alone. So, my advice is, don't freaking try it alone!!

Sze was shaking when we were freezing. That made me and siaw ling to shake too. Er.. FYI, that was against Ewen's law. hmm. don care. Continue. I heard koperasi ppl laughing and ppl walked by staring at us like we were alien or something. Haha. Imagination starts. I dono where came the sticking-20sen-on-the-floor idea. They really did sticked it on the floor. Envira, Sarah and Chris was pointing at the coin like they never saw 20sen. xD. Imagination continues.

And that was went Mr Lis the kacau kacau person came. ish him. He Blah blah a lot. And the line i remembered most was "don't do black magic." More sia soi part was, imagine someone scolding u, asking u to go back to ur class, and ur reaction is... FREEZE! wtf.

Sejarah. we were so addicted. so, sia soi-ness continue at the 2nd period of Sej.. The whole class was so quiet just as the bell rung. Pn Fatimah was teaching in front, dono talking to herself or to the wall... "Are you playing fool on me?" makes us LOL and failed again.

Biology has the same effect. Different thing was that, i forgot to freeze!! The 2nd period bell rung, and the whole class SUDDENLY became very QUIET. only yhen, i realized and followed. okay, one more. U GUYS. PLEASE!! Don't ever be beside Sze when u wanna freeze. She will definitely make u laugh...

Form 5 is the best year i had in school. Which somehow i think is a bad thing to me. I GONNA FREAKING MISS SCHOOL AND 5SC1 AFTER GRADUATE. U guy's fault. hmph. don leave me alone after graduate! or else i'll bite u.

Time is not ticking.

Lotte CF

The TVXQ that i was heads over heels with, are now split into 2 groups. Oh nuuuuuuuuuuuuuu... I heard lian saying JYJ. I have no idea at all what or who she was talking about. Something deep in my heart, something felt uncomfortable when i heard her saying Jaejoong Yuchun Junsu. Leaving out Uknow and Changmin. =[

And then, i went to watch JYJ's aww new lotte CF. argh. there's always so cute and charming. Something seems to be missing. 2 person weren't in there. sob. i missed them so much. Them being all crazy. Them running around like kids. Them hugging each other. Them doing silly things. SOB.

there's no longer 5. It's only 3 now. ='(

btw, i love jaejoong's hair here.

sob. look at how close they are. how cute they can be. argh. lian, calm me down pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

it's not them without the other two..

NS

I had been looking forward for this since i dono when. I wanted to be chosen. But what the hell, in fact, they love me too much that they didn't bare to choose. aww.

Is it really that weird that a girl aka ah miaw wanted to be chosen desperately? hmm. It seemed most of the conversation i had with other ppl are the same.

Other ppl : u kena or not?

me: no. =( but i wan kena woi!!!

other ppl : (give me that OMG-what-happened-to-u face) seriously?

woi. i want to go NS, wrong is it? Is it against law or something? No right? I just wanted to go. See how life is it there. Try on life of my own. Try life without friends nor parents. zzzz

AND. I go not for the fucking guns sake. == i wonder why just because of a gun....

It's so not fair.

Open day

Open day wei. I did loads stuff wei. Experiment. Those i did when i don understand chem, now redo.... the procedure.... I think i can still remember in my dream. ==

The first thing i found funny early this morning at school was, there was this kitty at our school. She, i think shud be a female, sat at the middle, chun chun middle wei! I miao, she miao too. Had a little conversation with her, and went to lab. Before i reached lab, Vivian pulled me to Ah Goh's office. I went back to the kitty. SHE WAS STILL THERE!!!!! ORIGINAL PLACE WEI!!! NO MOVE AR! I miao, she miao. Den, she slowly turned her body. lol wei.

Chem lab.............. Nth much. Just wanna apologize to Ah Ming for leaving him alone at the lab. And, I.... I..... I WENT TO TOUR ARD wei... == haha. ok. i did take his shift after that. Makes me feel better.

Bio Lab.............. Eer.. The 2nd section wasn't that fun like in Chem lab. Cause there wasn't much ppl like in 1st section. Plus. nth much to explain. Plus, i really wanna peng liao. I seriously bo lat liao. I can't even leave my bag ar! sheesh.

Here comes the fun part. hehehe. We, the science senior. Ahem. PULLED THE FREAKING LAB DE WATER THINGY!! With all the junior there. I was pushed by dono-who into the water. It feels like shower anyway. haha. U can actually try it at home too wei. Just that, u no need clean up the floor in ur bathroom wei.

Poor Teachers. Promised to let us pull. And they ended up wet too. O.o What happened? Pn Yeo said if we could finish clean up before 6, she'll play too. woots! In a glimpse of eyes, we were all doing our job. LMAO. haha, just to make the teachers wet.

Few minutes later

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Pn Yeo!!!! We're all done!!!!!

LMAO. DONE WEI. Miss tan asked us to line up gok. @@ ok. photo time. haha.

gonna upload video sooner or later. depends on time. =) patience.

Keroro. I wan cut keroro!!! lol wei. Went to my cousin's house just now. I have no idea why was i so high. And i suddenly told her, "I wan cut keroro!!!!!!!!" She was all blur and asked me what's keroro. No childhood punya budak. I asked her to google. She typed "Keroro" and clicked back to her game. She clicked back to keroro page, and froze for awhile before she started laughing.

oh yeah~

Yesh.

Wooopiiii.

I

Passed. =)

Oh yeah~ i passed law exam. muahahaha. *cough*

Lol. Lilian suddenly remember that i had my law exam yesterday and asked me how was it. I smiled and said passed. She was like, woi, why u pass!? SWT woi. budak ini don wan me pass. ><>

patience.

2PM

i know i shouldn't be doing this. but guess what, i'm still doing this. =p

It's 2PM this time. XD Bare with me alright? Or u may just click on the red red icon with 'x' in the middle on the top right of ur screen. =)

i guess this is drawn by some fans, imagining Jeabeom's return. It's a waste he went back to Seattle. aww...

The Leader of 2PM, who spent 4 years learning to sing and speak Korea. Feeling sorry, he went back to Seattle.

Taecyeon, my love. =3

Nichkhun, vivian's recent favourite. =)

Lee Junho. The 2nd Bi, Rain. They seriously looked alike.

Jang Woo Young. Not bad, ain't he?

Hwang Chansung (황찬성). he's hawt in Cabi Song. *wink*

KIM JUN SU!!! my new love woi. Cute right? Hawt too right!?? He has smexy dance. *nosebleed*

2PM!!!

BEAST!!

Someone said BEAST is ugly. T^T

ENVIRA LEE!!! I'm SO gonna prove u wrong!! hmph. wait and see. =)

=(

Beast ♥ ♥ B2st

gosh. i'm recently SO obssessed to this group. I seriously heart them so so much. I fall heads over heels in LOVE with them after listening / watching their 'Bad Girl' mv. omg.

At first, i saw this very cute guy (Gi Kwang) ♥ ♥ singing with the oh-my-god-so-cute smile. =) And then, came this blonde guy O.o (Yo Seob) ♥ ♥. wth. He's as cute as who knows how to describe. Then, day after day, finished their MV...... and started to watch download their LIVE. wtf. I swear i never did this when i'm crazy over TVXQ opps sorry. xD

And there was this day that, i think it was early in the morning, i wrote "Gi Kwang" and a "20" on Lilian's desk. She was like, who is this!? And what's with the 20?

Recently, we have this hobby of drawing on ppl's sketch book. O.o. On the sketch book, First place, as usual goes to Uknow. ^^ I forgot who was 2nd. But thinking of it now, i should have told Lilian to write Gi Kwang instead. XD

oh crap, i'm so excited talking about them. let's see how u think about them...

Doo Joon

Birth name: Yoon Doo Joon 윤두준

Date of birth: July 4, 1989 (age 20)

Position: Leader, Vocalist, Rapper

Hyun Seung

Birth name: Jang Hyun Seung 장현승

Date of birth: September 3, 1989 (age 20)

Position: Main Vocalist, Lead Dancer

Jun Hyung

Birth name: Yong Jun Hyung 용준형

Date of birth: December 19, 1989 (age 20)

Position: Main Rapper, Sub Vocalist

Yo Seob

Birth name: Yang Yo Seob 양요섭)

Date of birth: January 5, 1990 (age 20)

Position: Main Vocalist

oh my gosh...........

Gi Kwang

Main article: AJ (singer)

Birth name: Lee Gi Kwang 이기광

Date of birth: March 30, 1990 (age 20)

Position: Lead Vocalist, Main Dancer

kyah~~

Dong Woon

Birth name: Son Dong Woon 손동운

Date of birth: June 6, 1991 (age 19)

Position: Vocalist, Rapper

Lilian's so called MIR.

My first impression to Hyun Seung was, what happen to his hair? But then, i went to search for their pictures. Hey, he's not bad and has a little something to do with the word 'handsome'. The other 3 are in the progress of falling in like. teehees.

Beast's song suggestion:

I bet u won't believe if i say ALL.

But to be honest, all their songs are nice.

So, just suggest a few here. Is a MUST listen.

-Bad Girl

-Mystery

-Oasis

-Shock

-Special

I'm heart sick, heal me, be crazy, can't let you goSad love song, my love's gone, please baby, don't go far ♥ ♥ ♥