End and Start

2011 is over, in a glimpse of an eye. A lot had happened on 2011, something precious yet unwilling to be remembered. 

Time flies, that's true. Looking back, it was 19th April when I started college life, and that was when the story started. For 8 months, I have that feeling with me. But there was only 1 month or 2 that really matters, because that was when things seemed perfect, and that was when I felt great to be alive. :)

After 8 months of torture and tears, I finally made up my mind to forget. To live a new life without him. It isn't that bad, after all. Because when you get used to your current life, you wouldn't feel anything. 

I read an article today. This was what the author wrote, if a guy really likes you, he wouldn't just flirt with you. He will be honest, because he likes you. This is so true. Yeah, guys flirt around because they're searching for someone better. So girls, don't let guys have the chance to flirt with you. :D

Anyway, it's the starting of a new year. Like what I said, 2011 was a great year. I met someone special, someone irreplaceable (well, maybe someday there will be someone who can replace him?), someone who taught me to be tough. So, hopefully by 2012, I will meet someone better than him. 

Btw, horoscope says that Taurus are going to end their single life on 2012. Let's see if it's true. *arms folded*

He wished me a Happy New Year

I felt like crying

But that's not gonna change anything. :)

Late

Miss me? Yeah I know. :)

Too lazy to type, let the pictures do the talking. 

FOOOOOOOOOOOOOD 

 Chatime. A must to try :)

Haha, my brother put them on the dining chair. Can you see ChaCha? 

Le mini trolley. :D 

Watched Alvin and the Chipmunks 3 with my brother and sister in law.

Theodore is sooooooooooooooooo cute. 

*touch touch* 

On 24th night, Twin and Angela fetch me at the airport, and we went to The Spring. Countdown. :3 Haha. We were too bored that we did silly things.

FIREEEEEEUUUUUAAAK! 

First semester examination is in 2 weeks time. *count with fingers* No wait, less than that. Screw myself. BYEEE

Korea

Someone *cough* is on the way to Korea. :( Hmm.. Should be on the plane now. Heading to Incheon International Airport. D:

*Le me imagining myself on the plane as well.* :3 Just bear with me.

*Le me imagining him going to SM Entertainment, seeing Yunho.* NUUUUH! I'm so gonna splash some pink paint or scratch that 8086!


*banging my head on the wall for being so... silly!*


*tears all over the face, waving at the plane with a tissue in the hand* 


Bon voyage :)

Heehh

We chat again. For a long time. :) We talked about a lot of things. From him going Korea to Yunho and Changmin, and at last about studies.

He seemed to be a quiet person, like what David said, without Allan beside him, he will just keep quiet. But after chatting with him, I found that he is a nice person. *blush*

*slap* stop dreaming.

OKAY FINE. Anyways. We are still chatting. :3 And I know this is not good.

我希望那种感觉只是欣赏

Alvin and the chipmunks 3

Went to watch this just now. :) Awesome. Haha. Alvin, the trouble causing one. Simon, the smart one. And Theodore, the cute one, as always. AWW. I died when Theodore said, "it's dark." with the cutest face ever!

Okay, not gonna be a spoiler. But there's one last thing, I MUST say. ALVIN IS SO HANDSOME IN THE END!!

Alright. Done.


And about the pink guy. *cough* Le twin, stop calling people breast cancer guy. That sounds wrong. Oh, about what happened yesterday. I asked him to vote for the Samsung contest yesterday. That was when we started to chat, or should I say it was me? Oh well, we did chat for a while. The conversation ended after... 30 minutes or so?

Today, the first thing that came to my mind when I got up was, OH I CHAT WITH HIM LAST NIGHT. And I was like, shit. I shouldn't let this happen! And I texted Angela.

Just now, I asked him to vote again. And he did. The conversation died. I was hoping that he would bring up a topic. But I knew what was gonna happen. Nothing.

Girl

You are not going to let it happen

No more

GASP

Am I dreaming?

*slap*

Ouch. Hey! I'm not dreaming!! OH MY GOSH! OH AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! 

Guess what I did. I. I. I. I. I CHAT WITH HIM!! *poke fingers* *pulls hair and runs in circle* 

Who?

321.2. :3 I chat with him. *flying*

KL

Going to KL tomorrow. Don't miss me T__T *waves* 

*slap*

Recalling what happened on 9.6.11. Starting to miss the relationship between him and me back then. Our flight that day delayed. And it was him who accompanied me. Now, am praying for the plane to be on time. Please, don't delay. 

Leaving

Forget about things related to him 

For the time being. 

That feeling

When people is packing to go Hong Kong, I packed to go somewhere that I'm fed up of. She is excited, to be on the plane for 5 hours, to go overseas, to visit a place where she had never been, to feel the cool breeze and wear thick sweaters. She is ordering people do things when someone else had to stay at where she shouldn't be.

You thought that I didn't want to go? You thought that we were able to go but we refused to? You thought that I wanted to see you being excited while what I can do now is to cry and see you fly off tomorrow?

Yes, you have to sleep earlier because you have an early flight tomorrow. But can you at least put yourself in my shoes and try to feel how I felt since the day I knew your family booked the tickets? What if I was the one leaving, how would you feel?

bon voyage

Can't believe and Last

I couldn't believe I did that.

*GASP* WHAT DID YOU DO?!

Calm down. Just something .. After Biology quiz yesterday, Shawnne went back home leaving David, Angela and me at school. We da bao at SCC and went to lounge. I.. chose to.. park beside.. *cough* The white Myvi. *runs in circle*

And I... suddenly had this idea of snapping a photo of that yellow angry bird in his car. (Btw, I have a red one in my car too!) And so, I did. :3

We were watching The Thing while eating. And fyi, The Thing is really disgusting. But if you like gross thing, don't hesitate to watch. Around 12.30pm, I went to my car and.. T_T That white Myvi was no longer there.

*CRY OUT LOUD*



Today. I didn't expect them to be there. But then I saw Wendy and I started to look forward to the ceremony. :) David and I went down to the Auditorium and we saw him. David was so supportive. He took my camera, went to him and snapped a photo of him. THANK YOU DABID!!

He looks handsome today. WHEN IS HE NOT?! Okay fine. Yes he IS handsome EVERYDAY! And I noticed something. When I peeped, I saw him looking at me. *squeal* 

*cover mouth* No he didn't!

Anyway, I got so excited when someone talked to Angela over the phone. ;) I was like, OMG OMG OMG OMG!! ANGELA IS SO GONNA BE HIGH!!!! But in the end, I was the one who went crazy. Sia soi in front of the white myvi owner.

*face palm*

We didn't go home after the ceremony. David and I met Angela at Life Cafe. Spent 2 hours or so there, chat about everything. And spent almost one hour in Angela's car.

I didn't feel like going home, so I drove to ... that house. Things seemed different today. I was unusually calm. Maybe it's because I know he isn't in Kuching. I saw the blue car. And another car beside his. The heart wasn't beating as fast as I thought it would.

回家的路上，我答应自己

那真的是最后一次了

Hong Kong

Yesterday, our biology lecturer, Miss Tan told us that we wouldn't be having class on Thursday. It's A-levels Award Day and Graduation Ceremony. Which means I'm going to see him again? My friends said that the Graduation Ceremony isn't for their batch. 

I thought, what's the point to avoid? He didn't even care to text me or something after he saw me. Yes I knew he saw me. But he didn't do anything. My mom was right. He is weird. After all those things that happened, we pretended to be strangers. Or was it because of me, that's why he's acting like that? 

Didn't have the mood to study, I clicked on Facebook and scroll down the Homepage. I saw that red elmo profile picture. As usual, my heart skipped a beat. The status said that he was with his sister at Fairview Park. He's now at Hong Kong. Once again, it reminded me of what he told me months ago. Those texts. 

I clicked on his profile picture. No doubt, most of them were about the games he played. But one of them caught my attention. That was a conversation between him and his friend. He said he's going to UK 2 and a half years later. 30 months. Seems long but in a blink of an eye, he will be leaving Kuching. 

He was at Kuching Airport yesterday morning. Which means, he was at the Sabah's airport when I was worrying about stupid things. Silly me. And now he's probably having fun in Hong Kong. :) 

我终于明白别人说的

我们是两个不同世界的人

那些日子

曾经，那个女孩认为自己终于找到了那个他。认为自己终于找到一个可以陪自己吃饭，聊天，看电影的那个他。认为自己的手终于找到可以十指紧扣的另一只手。

可是，有一天那个他离开了。他说：“ 我曾经喜欢你，但是现在... 对不起。”  那一刻，女孩忍住了泪水，安静的承受，把一切吞了下来。她告诉自己，没关系的，总有一天，一切都会好起来的。

可是时间久了，她发现自己不但丝毫没有放下，反而越陷越深，心一天比一天的痛。只要身边的人提起那个他，女孩就会想逃避，心更是一阵的刺痛。摸摸胸口告诉自己，“ 别想。” 可是到了晚上，看着他送的礼物，眼泪就会不争气的夺眶而出。

已经多久了，他们没有联络？已经多少个夜晚，从睡梦中被那撕裂般的痛惊醒？她是多么的想念他们互聊心事的日子。她非常清楚，那些日子怎么也回不来了。因为再过两个月，他就会离开了。到那个时候，女孩还会不会继续固执下去，还会不会不断的往回看？


曾经她也相信爱的存在，相信童话里的终成眷属，相信凡事都会有美好的结局。但是她错了，而且错得很离谱。因为人生根本没有所谓的童话故事，童话故事只是为了让小孩不害怕面对这残忍的世界。

一天，朋友约了女孩。聊了许久，朋友说，你变了。变得不再像以前那般活泼，快乐。现在的你，像刺猬。为了保护自己，把别人拒之于外。只要有什么事情，你就会开始攻击别人，让别人难以靠近你，让别人觉得你好冷酷。以前就算你受伤了，也不会像现在这样完全把自己封闭起来，让人难以猜测。

自从那个他离开以后，女孩就开始在自己与身边的人之间建起一道墙。因为她害怕再次受伤害。久而久之，身边的朋友逐渐远离她，她却一点也不在乎，心里想着，“ 他们也都像他一样离开了。”  女孩一直认为自己伪装得很好，只要每天和朋友打打闹闹，每天逼着自己笑就好了。但是就连身边的朋友都没有察觉，他却发现了。

要怎么样才能在再次看到他时心平气和，心跳不再加速，可以脸带微笑走上前去问，“ 最近好吗？”　要怎么样才可以从那阴影走出来，尝试接受那个比自己还了解自己的他？

呵，应该不容易吧？

后悔的并不是爱上你

而是把事实告诉你

如果当初没有说出口

或许你现在还会在我身边

So close

Don't drive when you can't think properly. 

Thanks girls. 

And sorry for being a coward when you guys were trying to encourage me. 

I really couldn't do it. 

Wrong T-T

I. had. just. clicked. into. her. profile. and. saw. something. I. shouldn't. see.

DAMN IT.

*SLAPS*

Great. I can't study now.


T_T

Sunny Hills

It reminded me, again. This time, the flashbacks were so clear and real that I hoped the person sitting beside me, driving, was him. I know I should slap myself for thinking about him. But what to do? Every time, as long as there's something related to him, my mind wanders and there he is, showing up again.

"Will it be weird if I ask how many ex do you have?"

That topic stopped when we reached school. I can still remember every word he said that afternoon. Every single line.


I could give up anything just to get back to those times, to let him sit beside me and talk like we've known each other for years. Or even to make him mine.